I wasn’t sure how I could do it again…let go of another little boy I had mothered for a year. Although the circumstances were different in most every way, and this time it was my choice, I couldn’t picture his beautiful little face, his soulful eyes and all that he might experience in having to leave, without dissolving into a blob of sobs and tears. I carried his pain in my heart and I wasn’t sure how either of us would survive this.
When you are standing up against a wall that seems insurmountable. When you just cannot imagine making it through. When you see no way out, no path through or over or around. When all you see a big fat wall…Well, that’s when God does His best work.
So through my sobs, I remembered God’s faithfulness. I sensed Him saying to my spirit, “Remember you have done this before, my precious and treasured Christy. Remember that I carried you when you were in such grief that you did not know how you would take another breath. Remember how I healed your heart, and bound up your wounds and set you on a path filled with hope and light. Remember how you saw my goodness and experienced my joy. I will do it again for you, my girl. I will do it again.”
I love how Remember can be a command or a question. Remember? Remember. I took his words as statements of truth. “Call this to mind, my daughter. I will be with you as I was before.”
Give him to me. Let him go. I am his home.
It is amazing how often the most intense struggles come right before the most beautiful breakthroughs.
Remember that today? Remember that today.