Remember? Remember.

I wasn’t sure how I could do it again…let go of another little boy I had mothered for a year.  Although the circumstances were different in most every way, and this time it was my choice, I couldn’t picture his beautiful little face, his soulful eyes and all that he might experience in having to leave, without dissolving into a blob of sobs and tears.  I carried his pain in my heart and I wasn’t sure how either of us would survive this.

When you are standing up against a wall that seems insurmountable.  When you just cannot imagine making it through. When you see no way out, no path through or over or around.  When all you see a big fat wall…Well, that’s when God does His best work.

So through my sobs, I remembered God’s faithfulness.  I sensed Him saying to my spirit, “Remember you have done this before, my precious and treasured Christy.  Remember that I carried you when you were in such grief that you did not know how you would take another breath. Remember how I healed your heart, and bound up your wounds and set you on a path filled with hope and light.  Remember how you saw my goodness and experienced my joy.  I will do it again for you, my girl.  I will do it again.”

I love how Remember can be a command or a question.  Remember?  Remember.  I took his words as statements of truth.  “Call this to mind, my daughter.  I will be with you as I was before.”

Give him to me.  Let him go.  I am his home.

It is amazing how often the most intense struggles come right before the most beautiful breakthroughs.

Remember that today?  Remember that today.